On February 1 & 2, 2014 the Kennedy Center, in association with the DeVos Institute of Arts Management, presented the 2014 Kennedy Center International Arts Leaders Forum, an intensive weekend program for artists, arts managers, and board members to share ideas and discuss solutions to some of the big issues confronting the arts community today.

The first in an annual series, the forum brings together some of the world's brightest minds from government, media, and the nonprofit world as keynote speakers and panelists for three symposia.

"The performing arts are undergoing dramatic changes, and this summit will bring greater attention to the critical concerns of the artists, arts managers, and board members who must navigate these changes successfully.”
—Michael M. Kaiser, Kennedy Center President and forum host

Owing to a previous engagement, I was only able to attend Sunday's event. I took copious notes and have a few photos to share as well. 

Moderator: Brett Egan (Director, DeVos Institute of Arts Management)
Panelists: Deborah Borda (President and Chief Executive Officer, Los Angeles Philharmonic), Howard Herring (President and Chief Executive Officer, New World Symphony), Patrick McIntyre (Executive Director, Sydney Theatre Company), and Chris Widdess (Managing Director, Penumbra Theatre ).

This discussion focused on issues facing arts managers in the changing global arts environment. The panelists discussed ways to develop new sources of income, approaches to exploiting new technologies, and how to maintain artistic relevance and identity with the core audience while fostering and growing a robust base of younger audience members and donors.

Moderator Brett Egan opened the discussion with an anecdote. He compared arts organizations to Modern Family, an American comedy series about a diverse, nontraditional family and used the Season One Season Finale episode, “Family Portrait" to explain the problems facing arts managers. In this episode, Claire’s elaborate plans for the perfect family portrait is spoiled by various mishaps. Eventually, she does get the entire family together and they are all dressed beautifully in white. However, her constant need for perfectionism gets on everyone’s nerves and a mud fight ensues. Claire is forced to let go of her perfect family portrait, and confesses later how much more she loves it 

As for how this situation mirrors the challenges faced by arts organization, Egan said that many arts organizations have a network of stakeholders (artists, audiences, and board members) who are committed to their organizations mission and vision, but are beleaguered, overworked. In addition to current duties and responsibilities, these folks must learn how to adapt to a radically diversified and ever changing community. In addition to this challenge, arts managers are trying to discover new ways for audiences to consume art and new venues in which to present art, while working to fill in the gap between what it costs to produce our work and the amount of revenue we’re able to bring in. Basically, we have a basic productivity challenge while audience participation is dropping. Click here to read the results of the latest survey from the National Endowment of the Arts (NEA).

Egan then listed a breakdown of what he calls the Arts Manager’s Dilemma:

• Inexpensive Substitute - more affordable and accessible entertainment.
  
• Price Sensitivity - interested audiences interested might not find it affordable.
  
• Rising Costs - production and operation costs are ever-increasing.
  
• Proliferation of Communication Vehicles - we have so many ways to communicate, we have to learn how to share out message most effectively.

• Demise of Recording and Criticism - arts criticism is dwindling.
  
• Diversity and Demographic - our communities are changing and so our programming and staff need to reflect that change.
  
• Drought in Education - Without a steady flow of arts education, we are missing out on opportunities for grow our next generation of audiences.
  
• Expectations for Participation, Not Just Observation - new, exciting, and innovation theatre might scare traditional or introverted audiences away.

From there, the panelists spoke about their efforts to grow audiences. Here the questions that resonated with me:

• How do we envision the audience of 2030? What does this demand of our institutions in the next decade?
• What programming and communication strategies must be employed to engage with the modern family? 
  
• How does your building and image define you? Does it invite a diverse audience into your home?
• After the first experience with your organization, do audiences come back to the same experience or to something new and different? 
  
• How can we use technology to introduce new audiences to our work?

The entire conversation was informative, but I was particularly moved by Chris Widdess' brief, but powerful and informative presentation. She spoke candidly about recent challenges and successes at Penumbra Theatre. She also contextualize the impact of Black Theatre being created today. Here are some of the key issues she addressed:

• The art that came out of the Black Arts Movement was like a hammer. We’re in a different era now. We have an opportunity to celebrate difference and talk about it. 

• Art has the power to create social change. Using the art as a starting point of the dialogue and digging deeper to give you the skills and tools to help you engage in your communities.

• We must address issues of diversity, because the shifting demographics of the country make it is imperative 
  
• You have to know where you’ve been in order to know how to go forward. When your history is not taught in school and the stereotypes of your community are so strong, there is great trauma to overcome.
• Efforts to advance racial and social equity don't always turn into revenue for the organization, which is why we offer educational programming and partnerships with local schools and colleges. 

I appreciated that this conversation addressed issues of diversity and inclusion as a way to grow audiences and better serve our ever-changing communities. However, I left feeling that our role of as artists as catalysts for social change and justice was undercut. While not surprising, because just as the arts are undervalued in our society so to is education. Still, I want to find ways to promote the work of artists as leaders and partners in civic engagement and social change.

Julie Taymor was meant to be our keynote speaker, but she had strep throat and so was unable to attend. Michael Kaiser stepped into her place with a speech I'm told he gives quite a bit. It was my first time hearing it, so here's a snapshot of essential points:

"Nations around the world are looking to the U.S. for models for how to sustain arts funding. Unfortunately, we don’t enjoy the support of large government funding. The Puritans who founded our nation believed music and dance were evil and that has led to a separation of art and state that has endured to this day. Organizations of color and rural organization face the greatest challenge when arts funding is cut. However, there is a great spirit of generosity in the American people. 

First, I am concerned about the quality of the art itself.  I have observed that the creativity has been beaten out of so many artists and arts organizations.  Everyone is so concerned about money and 'what sells' that we have gotten too conservative with our art-making.  Producing boring art is the surest way to create fiscal problems because our audiences and donors look elsewhere.  And, especially with so many online entertainment options available today, there are plenty of places to look. Too many organizations think they can remain healthy by producing safe art and too many arts organizations spend more time talking about money than about creativity.

We don't just worry about money too much, we even talk about it too much. We must remember that our function is to inspire, entertain and educate our communities. We have spent so much time complaining about our plight and focusing on our financial challenges that many people do not want to interact with us anymore.  They have come to us for respite but we have not been as accommodating as we need to be. We talk about money in the press, to our audiences, to our donors and especially to our board members. Our board meetings are almost entirely devoted to discussions of cash flow and income statements.  

We forget to discuss what we do for our communities, how much fun it is to come to an exhibition or performance, or how we educate our children to be creative thinkers. Then we are surprised that board members stay away and, worse, do not introduce us to their friends and associates. We must return our focus to our contributions to the community; few people really care about our problems. They have problems of their own!

My second concern is that arts organizations simply are not doing a good enough job of marketing.  We have a lot to learn from the sports world.  Sports leagues do a great job of engaging people through their marketing activities.  They don't just sell tickets, they encourage a relationship between the individual fan and the team as a whole. And these fans repay them by spending a great deal on tickets and souvenirs, food and parking. 

Too many people believe arts marketing is only about selling tickets. So their marketing efforts focus on advertisements, direct mail, email blasts, etc. These activities, which do help create earned income, I call programmatic marketing. Arts organizations have done a good job of creating programmatic campaigns though I observe that too many do not differentiate enough between the marketing needs of different types of programs. Most arts organizations have a template for marketing every project: they do three advertisements, a direct mail post card, a radio spot and two email blasts, for example. Others require a great deal more information, a new play by an unknown author, for example. These more challenging ventures need what I term missionary marketing – they require much more detailed explanations than can be accommodated by a poster or simple advertisement. We must save money on marketing the first type of program to invest in the second. 

And we must appreciate that online activities are our new best friends in creating visibility and educating audiences.  We can reduce the amount we spend on programmatic marketing by using email, web sites, social networking sites, etc. to their full potential. People are getting their information in new ways - that is why newspapers are going bankrupt - and we must recognize it. But we must also invest in a second type of marketing, institutional marketing, that creates excitement for our organizations as a whole. 

My third concern relates to the ages of our audience members and donors.  It is almost trite to say that our audiences are too old.  In fact, that has been true for over a century! But we now face a different situation. American children were introduced to the arts by their parents but also in schools.  I can remember a time when every child had a chance to sing in a chorus, perform a school play, play an instrument and learn to paint.  Most children, although not all, stopped their arts participation when they hit high school and began thinking about dating, college, marriage, careers and families.  Most people did not resume arts participation until middle age, when careers were underway, children were grown and they had more discretionary time and money.

So while our audiences were older than the population in general, we had a constant replenishment of audience, donors, board members and volunteers.  But today we have so little organized arts education in our schools that I am not so certain that as the current generation of school children ages, they will find their way to the arts if they didn't have them as a child. If not, who will be our audience members and donors of the future?  In fact, I am far more concerned for the arts 20 years from now than I am about the current economic challenges we face.  

And while there is far too little arts education in our schools, even the education programs we do have are not substantial enough.  They are disjointed, episodic and not very potent.  That is because we leave the purchase decision for arts events to the individual teacher. If a third grade teacher loves the arts, the children in the class will get many arts experiences: they will visit a museum, produce a class play, learn from a teaching artist, etc.  But when these same children get to fourth grade, they may have no arts if their teacher does not care about them.  We do not teach any other subject that way.  Imagine if your children or grandchildren came home and said they were not learning math this year because their teacher didn’t like it! 

My fourth major concern for the health of the arts relates to boards of arts organizations.  Too many board members simply do not know enough about what creates health in the arts.  While they approach their board duties with tremendous generosity of time, spirit and resources, they make decisions that are not necessarily in the best interests of their organizations.  The most common mistakes include cutting art and marketing to balance the budget (when art and marketing are the very reasons people support us), believing that building an endowment will cure everything, suggesting that safe art is the easiest art to support and not forcing their executives to plan art early enough to help attract new donors.

We need board members who know how to perform the five key functions of boards: developing and approving plans, understanding and approving the budget, hiring, firing, compensating and motivating their direct reports, participating actively in gathering resources and serving as ambassadors in the community. Arts organizations have a life cycle and board composition must change as the organization matures.  When an arts organization is founded, the board acts like quasi-staff.  They may do the bookkeeping, do the marketing, even sew the costumes. But as the organization grows and matures, it hires staff to fill these functions and needs its board to be more active in raising funds. Arts boards that do the best job of evaluating and changing their own compositions are typically the healthiest ones in our nation. While boards require training, arts managers need it too.  

My last major concern is that arts managers simply do not have the training they need to deal with the range of challenges I have addressed today.  And that takes us back where we began, to the DeVos Institute of Arts Management at the Kennedy Center. The Institute addresses my belief that the greatest problem facing the arts today is not a shortage of great composers, choreographers or playwrights, but rather a serious deficit in trained managers to employ and support these artists.  Arts management is a very young field and too many arts managers and board members simply do not know how to build the levels of support needed to makes artists’ dreams come true. 

The field needs its sophisticated donors to encourage, and might I say force, our arts managers to learn how to plan for important art, well in advance, to pursue sophisticated aggressive marketing campaigns, to create meaningful arts education programs and to encourage board members to fulfill their responsibilities effectively. 

Without strong leadership, the arts will not be able to create the artistic and educational programming that is so vital for our communities.

Without strong leadership, our arts organizations will not build the large, engaged families of audience members and donors we need to stay healthy.

Without strong leadership, we will not build the future generations of arts lovers and arts leaders. And without strong leadership, our system of arts funding will not sustain the remarkable arts ecology this nation has created.

We are so fortunate to have the freedoms we have to create art and arts institutions in the United States of America.

But with this freedom comes the responsibility to do it well."

Moderator: Mo Rocca (humorist, journalist and actor)
Panelists: Terence Blanchard (jazz trumpeter, bandleader, composer, arranger, and film score composer), Ben Folds (singer-songwriter and record producer), Judith Jamison (dancer and choreographer, and Artistic Director of Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater), John Lithgow (actor, musician, and author), Deborah Voigt   (operatic soprano).

This conversation addressed issues affecting the careers of performing artists: pursuing artistic interests in the face of changing audience demands, building new audiences, embracing new technology, coping with changes at arts organizations, and building a meaningful career.

First, I must stay that this was a lively, passionate, entertaining, and poignant conversation. It was the perfect way to end this symposium. However, going into it, I learned about the sudden and tragic passing of Phillip Seymour Hoffman. I was deeply saddened and in shock, so it took me a while to get back into the flow of the conversation. You'll see that my notes are a bit scattered, but I've done my best to capture what was shared.

Moderator Mo Rocco opened the discussion by asking the panelists about their early exposure to the arts. In a number of different ways, each of the panelists were exposed to the arts by parents, teachers and friends. Rocco then asked whether their parents ever asked to do something they didn't want to do. This drew a lot of laughs from the audience. A few of the panelist begrudged these early responsibilities, but ultimately appreciated that they were taught discipline, focus, and respect for practice at such an early age.  

Rocco then asked the panelists to speak about saying "yes" versus "no." For many young and emerging artists, this is such an important question. There is a tendency to say yes a lot early on, because being asked is such a golden opportunity. Eventually, however, you'll need to start saying know when the work either doesn't move you forward in your career or doesn't speak to the kind of work that you want to do. Saying no is just as important as saying yes, because each decision will help you learn about your voice as an artist and define your craft. Here's what the panelists said:
John: I was mostly saying “Please!” and said yes whenever he had the chance! But regardless, whatever choice you make, will be the wrong one. You just have to make the best of it and know that you’re going to be fine.
Deborah: As I've gotten older, I've had to decided whether I want to invest the time and energy into a role that I might never play again in my life.
Judith: Early on, I had guides, teachers, and mentors who said yes for me. In dance, you'll have people telling you yes, regardless of what you might have wanted to do. And you're grateful for them, because they can see the path of your career in a way that you can't. 
Terrence: I say no a lot. I have to ask myself, do I want to present this work to the world knowing this isn’t who I am. But you sometimes take a beating for it because folks don’t necessarily run to promote you. After working with Spike Lee on Malcolm X, I was offered 11 Black films. Only I didn’t want to pigeonholed into one thing and so turned a lot of work down that didn’t represent who I was.
Ben: I said no a lot as first because I was defining who I was as an artist. I played the piano and so I had a to have a piano. It would have been easier to play the guitar, but that's not what I wanted to do. Eventually, I grew to a place of yes, because I was interested and open to hearing input. But I still don't share my work until it's ready. I have to be at a place where I'm ready to share it and ready to hear input.

Rocco then asked the panelist if they would every appear in a commercial or allow their work to appear in a commercial. Sometimes the idea of doing commercial work can be seen as selling out. Here's what Deborah and Terrence said:
Deborah: Yes! It shouldn't be a problem for an artist to offer their expertise in a commercial.
Terrence: I don’t see a problem with endorsements. What better way to introduce audiences to different genres of art. It is incumbent upon us as artist that once we have these audiences that we education them.

This led Rocco to ask the panelists ]how we talk about the impact of their work and also the intersection of multiple art forms. I thought this question was great because for as many artist who remain specialized, we have an ever growing number of interdisciplinary artists. Also, as we look to grow audiences, we need to find more ways to collaborate with each other across forms. Here's some of what was shared: 
Terrence: When I work with students, I talk to them about finding their own voice. When we start out, you want to be or sound like someone else. I wanted to be the next Miles Davis. But you can’t be that someone else. You have to be you. So you have to take your experience, have confidence in your value, and create the art you were put on this earth to do. You are trying to communicate to an audience.
Ben: Also, you want to listen to your peers and respond to what is happening so that you in the conversation that is happening now. You don't want to be at a dinner party where everyone's been talking about the football game and once the conversations over, look up and ask if anyone saw the football game. You don't want to be that person.
John: Also, you never know the value of the impact of your work. Years ago, I did Footloose. It was a not so important movie. We didn't know at the time what it was going to be. Later, when I was working on 30 Rock from the Sun and an actor came up to me-in tears-- and he told me that because of my part in that movie, he was the first of six siblings to go to his high school prom. That actor’s father was a Baptist preacher. You just never know what your impact is going to be..

Rocco then asked them about the impact of social media. He was curious about whether the constant feedback has a positive or detrimental impact on the work.
Ben: You get the feedback from the live audience. Anyone who puts out music and art, you’re going to have people who are going to hate you. But it’s tricky if it changes what you do that can get tricky.
Deborah: She judges her performance by the reaction she receives from the audience. Works hard not to read the reviews. The longer you’re in the business, the harsher the criticism will be If I read a review and think it’s wonderful, then you have to read the bad reviews too. She heard from young opera fans that they are frustrated that there is a lack of social media around the work.
Judith: I'm not on Twitter. I live a fairly private life, but after this conversation ... I think I might get on Twitter just to see what it's all about.

Rocco asked the panelist about fun versus easy. "If the work is fun, does that mean it's easy? Do these two ideas go hand and hand?"
John: Actors are playing a part. There is a playful and engaging exchange that happens between audiences, but it’s hard work.
Judith: I tell dancers to enjoy themselves as they are going on stage. Enjoy this while you’re doing it. It’s not going to last forever. Savor every single bite. You’ve worked hard to get here. You’ve work hard in rehearsal. Be ferocious in your delight of the experience. In that ferocity you have your release.
John: But the hard part is when it’s not happening anything.
Terrence: But you don’t show the sausage being made. We don’t show the audience how hard it is. If you’ve worked at your craft, then there is no greater feeling that feeling free on the stage.

Rocco's final question for the panelist was about labels. Ben summed it up perfectly:
It’s complicated. You don't want to simplify anything, but you want people to receive information about what you do, the kind of art you're creating, and also know what to expect about the experience. The label has to be effective.

At this point, the conversation was open to the public. The loose structure brougt reality back in But I dipped back into the discussion to hear that an audience member asked the panelists to speak about how they negotiate fear. 
Terrence: Fear fuels me. It’s what I learn from and intrigues me the most. I don’t want to be in the same place. If you’re standing still, the world is changing all around you.

Rocco then ended the panel discussion by quoting Ben Folds Five song, "Do It Anyway":

"And if you're paralyzed by a voice in your head
It's the standing still that should be scaring you instead
Go on and
Do it anyway
Do it anyway"

And with that the Kennedy Center's first ever International Arts Leader Forum came to a close and we were all invited to take part in a lovely closing reception. 

However, before we went in, I talked Dafina McMillan (Director of Communications and Conferences, TCG) into getting a photo with the legendary Judith Jamison and because I spent most of undergrad listening to my best friend, Andrea Burghart (now Hinojosa) go on and on about the brilliance of Ben Folds, I got a photo with him!

''It is not enough to demand insight and informative images of reality from
the theater. Our theater must stimulate a desire for understanding, a delight in changing reality. ...Theater must teach all the pleasures and joys of discovery, all the feelings of triumph associated with liberation.''
~~Bertolt Brecht 

Yesterday, Theatre Development Fund (TDF) and Theatre Bay Area (TBA) hosted the first for six roundtable discussions intended to uncover the best new thinking and practices around what most effectively links audiences, generative artists and the theatres who produce them.  Led by Victoria Bailey (Executive Director, TDF) and Brad Erickson (Executive Director, TBA), the meeting took place at Woolly Mammoth Theatre Company's Rehearsal Hall.

Here's information about the project:
Theatre makers around the country are experimenting with new ways to connect audiences with generative artists and their work. Through their project, Triple Play—funded by the Doris Duke Charitable Foundation—TDF and TBA are examining all sides of this crucial triangular relationship. They have surveyed playwrights, theatre leaders and audiences and will share their findings at these live and guaranteed lively conversations in each of six cities. They are inviting theatre companies, large and small, artistic and marketing leadership, playwrights, funders and committed audience members to share what's working to excite interest in new work.

The project evolved from Outrageous Fortune, The Life and Times of the New American Play, commissioned by TDF, and Counting New Beans, Intrinsic Impact and the Value of Art.  As leaders of service organizations committed to building theatre audiences, they believe that conversation between artists, theatre leaders, and audiences about how to approach, market, and advocate for new work is essential to this effort. With that in mind, Triple Play operating in three phases:

1. Research gathering research through surveys and analysis of audience reports.  
   
2. Six conversations to share their findings from the research, see what resonates and what doesn’t, generate insights from the field about what our research shows; and hear success stories that can be shared. 
   
3. Convening in Boston at HowlRound in the winter of 2014 – 15.
   

Yesterday's conversation happened in two-parts. The morning session was smaller than the afternoon, but both groups had representatives from Baltimore and D.C. area large, mid-sized, and small theatres, with different specialties (i.e., generative, theatre for young people, culturally specific) as well as playwrights of varying career stages and various theatre administrators. While the morning session was off the record, four audience members reported out our discussion for the afternoon session, which HowlRound live streamed. You can watch and listen here:

I had the extraordinary privilege and responsibility of being in the room for both meetings. While honoring the closed door nature of our conversation, here are the questions, comments, and observations that stood out to me:

• Do artist want to mitigate risk or contextualize risk? If we were to be able to contextualize risk better, would that help grow audiences?
  
• Embedded in the writing is that there is an audience that we are moving along a continuum. Our new audience will be those who have never been to the theatre before.
  
• Turning the paradigm on its head about the new play field. Does the new play need to be great or can we create an environment that allows it to be messy? 
  
• Why do you want to bring in new audiences? Who is the audience you're trying to preserve and who is the new audience? How are you reflecting that your audience in your staffing and programming?
  
• In urban areas and in time when audiences have so many choices, marketing strategies need to evolve. What community organizing strategies can we implement in the arts? Will this engagement increase our ability to take risks?
  
• How do we shift from the transactions model to a more community-based model where your audiences feel an investment in the community and stakeholders?
  
• The triangular model isn’t necessarily true for all organization. One solution won’t serve everyone.
  
• Just as there are different quantifiers for success, risk for each organization, artists and audience is different.
  
• Putting the artist in the middle of the conversation can have an enormous impact.
  
• How do we evaluate what is and isn't working? How do we let go of what isn’t working?
  
• We started with the subscription model to produce new, interesting and engaging work, but now we need the subscription for security.

At one point, the playwrights were asked to share their thoughts on our relationship with audiences and arts leaders, and also why we wrote plays. In an attempt to respond to all that had been shared, here's what I said:

"I attend theatre out of a deep curiosity to learn more about the world around me. With enough time, money, and the ability to get to the theatre, I'd see just about anything. When friends, colleagues, and students ask for play recommendations, I give them based on how well and how often a theatre presents a diverse range of artists and plays. As a playwright, I write out of a sense of urgency to give voice to members in our community whose stories have not been told. Of course, when a diversity of voices do not appear on our stages, is it any wonder that our audiences aren't growing?"

For my part, I'd like to shift the language being used here and many others agreed. The context of the conversation was set around fear:

• The risk of doing theatre: new plays, dead white men plays, any plays at all.
  
• The peril of dwindling audiences: subscription model or single ticket buyers, how we market and contextualize theatre.
  
• The disconnect that artists feel when working with theatre organizations: the regional theatre model mirrors the plantation pyramid: management is on top and artists are at the bottom.

I don't want to talk about theatre in terms of risks just as I don't want to talk about diversity in terms of a challenge. I'd like us to speak in language of curiosity, discovery, and social change. 

Interestingly, during part of the afternoon conversation, I also participated in HowlRound's conversation around Race and Representation. The fact that these conversations were happening at the same time, but exclusive of one another resonated with me. As racial demographics continue to shift and knowing that minorities will be the majority in America by 2050, our theatre programming must shift to reflect these audiences. How to address diversity needs to be an intrinsic part of the conversation. There were several attempts to bring this into the conversation ... but it didn't quite seem to stick. 

When I left the meeting, I thought about Bertolt Brecht. Of course, I was en route to attend opening night of MOTHER COURAGE AND HER CHILDREN at Arena Stage, but also because Brecht understood the power and impact that theatre could have on a community. I think that if theatre artists want to remain relevant to audience, we need to start thinking about how our work if essential to survival and freedom. 

About Theatre Development Fund
Theatre Development Fund, a not-for-profit organization, was created with the conviction that the live theatrical arts afford a unique expression of the human condition that must be sustained and nurtured. TDF’s twofold mission is to identify and provide support, including financial assistance, to theatrical works of artistic merit and to encourage and enable diverse audiences to attend live theatre and dance in all their venues.

About Theatre Bay Area
Theatre Bay Area’s mission is to unite, strengthen, promote and advance the theatre community in the San Francisco Bay Area, working on behalf of our conviction that the performing arts are an essential public good, critical to a healthy and truly democratic society, and invaluable as a source of personal enrichment and growth.

Each conversation will livestream on the global, commons-based, peer produced HowlRound TV network at howlround.tv. To participate in the online discussion use #trplplay @theatrebayarea and the local theatre’s handle. Click here to learn more.

On January 16th, Dance Exchange presented “Dance Matters: A Discussion on Racial Equity and the Power of the Arts.” The facilitators were Dance Exchange's Artistic Director Cassie Meador, Partnerships and Production Manager Ouida Maedel along with University of Maryland PhD candidate Bimbola Akinbola and the panelists included featured artists Paloma McGregor, Jesse Phillips-Fein and myself. This  interactive panel discussion invited participants to move, dialogue and reflect on the complexities of race and the possibilities of leveraging the arts for social change. This event is also part of Dance Exchange performance and community engagement work-in-progress, commissioned by The Embrey Family Foundation for Dallas Faces Race, in conjunction with Race Forward’s Facing Race Conference in Dallas Texas, in November 2014.

Since many of the participants were new to Dance Exchange and each other, we wanted to establish trust and create a safe space for this conversation. Additionally, we understoond that issues of race can be traumatizing for many people. Of course, this discussed at some length at the recent Playing with the Past, (W)Righting the Future panel at Georgetown University.

Prior to the panel, we agreed to a list of rules:

• Listen for understanding as opposed to listening for the for the point of contention. 
  
• Respect ourselves and each other's thoughts, perspectives, and bodies in the space and conversation.
  
• Patience, we can only be where we are in any given moment until we are ready to move forward.
  
• Step forward/Step Back, this spoke to being aware of how your enter conversation. If you are someone ready to step forward with a response, good, but see where you can allow others the space to enter. Conversely, if you are someone who more naturally steps back and remains quiet, find the courage to step forward.
  
• One mic, one voice speaks at a time. We hold the responsibility of listening.
  
• Multiple truths, this was a space that held and honored multiple truths. Your truth is your experience. This is from where you speak and enter the room.
  

With everyone in the room, we added:

• Stay curious, this was a space to discover each other's life experiences with interest and enthusiasm.
  
• Ask questions, this was not a space to make assumption. We asked questions for clarity and further analysis.
  
• Suspend certainty, this was also a space of unfolding. Shared experiences were treated as knowledge and allowed for discovery to take place.
  
• Honoring the timeframe, we were respectful of each other's time.
  
• Being present, while taking care of our personal and physical needs, we put away and turned off all phones.
  
• Witnessing, we were responsible for each other and held what was shared sacred. 
  

After which, we shared what we were hoping to bring to the conversation and spent time getting to know as many people as possible one on one through a series of questions. Of course, we also moved. Cassie led us through warm-up and cool down exercises to help us address any areas on our bodies that might be holding onto tension, trauma, and unspoken pain. The panel discussion happened between the warm-up and cool down. Bimbola asked Paloma, Jesse and myself several thought-provoking questions. The following three  still resonated with me:

• In your opinion, what is the utility of exploring race and social justice through dance and theatre as opposed to in a classroom or a lecture hall? What is the future of merging these spaces? 
  
• What types of audiences does your work draw in? How does their participation as viewers influence and/or change your work?
  
• Considering that you all explore racial identity and historical trauma in your work, what do you think is the role of pain, sadness, and anger in the creation of racially focused art?

After the discussion and final exercise, we enjoyed a lovely wine, cheese and dessert reception. 

During the reception and even out in the parking lot, many of us continued sharing thoughts about how artists can use their practice to address racism and achieve racial equity. I went home that night and wrote this into my journal:

Tonight panel reminded of my work with Theatre Communication Group's Diversity and Inclusion We cannot accomplish the much-needed and complex work around anti-racism in isolation. I felt honored to be a part of this work with Dance Exchange. I hope to continue this collaboration. We must continue create spaces that address our concerns, invite curiosity and dialogue, heal our wounds, and move the conversation forward. Over the past six weeks, I've been in multiple conversations with theatre artists, who are tired of fighting for a change they just don't see coming. We must find ways to support each other in times of fatigue.

A few days ago, I connected with the artists and facilitators to see how they were doing and where the panel left them. I wanted to hear what thoughts and questions they were still considering. They were kind enough to share their thoughts with me and I've included them for you here:

From Bimbola Akinbola:
What has remained with me is the thought that we need to think deeply as a community about what we create from places of anger, pain, sadness or anxiety, and how our art can honor these emotions rather than brush them under the rug.

From Paloma McGregor:
I'm still thinking about how we come together across racial lines and within them with a collective desire to understand and combat the systems that privilege white people every day in ways that can be hard for them to face or even recognize.  I'm still thinking about how these systems have conditioned and dehumanized all of us. I hope we can continue to create and perpetuate practices and spaces that help us to stay grounded in our struggle while also unearthing and centering our hopes and visions, so that we are moving toward a more equitable future. I believe art making practice, in coalition with front-line organizing, can help us to keep our spirits and bodies moving toward equity. 

From Cassie Meador:
I am still questioning once people know they have privilege, what do they do from there? How do you acknowledge and make use of your privilege to enter into the work of advancing racial equity?

I am still thinking about how we can’t afford to excuse ourselves from the conversation because it is challenging. We can’t afford to back away because of worry about what we have not recognized or questioned more deeply before this moment. We must be willing to confront the barriers personal and systemic that have prevented us from seeing and taking action. 

As hard as it may seem, each of us can only step into the conversation and begin from where we are now.  From this place we must then enter into the stream of work and healing that is being done to build effective coalitions and move racial equity forward. It is comforting to know you don't have to stay where you are, you have a distance to travel, and new ways of seeing and understanding to move towards.  

I am still thinking about how we look beyond the surface to really consider the minute workings of systemic oppression. I am still thinking about all of the dismantling, uncovering, and unmaking that is necessary to move the barriers that prevent us from recognizing institutionalized inequities. I am struck by the creative potential surfaced when we engage in this process of unmaking and dismantling, and I am deeply interested in the ways I see artists leveraging creative strategies to advance racial equity.  

I move forward with gratitude to the panelists who offered us opportunities to acknowledge our personal journeys, while also being instrumental in putting dimensions of privilege into the discussion. I move forward from our conversation with a strong desire to examine and confront further the ways that privilege influence my own work culture, both organizationally and within the larger arts and culture sector.  

From Jesse Phillips-Fein:
"What resonates with me is a need to connect our personal stories to our collective histories. What resonates with me is a desire to continue to raise up conversation and action on what makes cross-racial collaboration healing, powerful, and transformative, instead of a form that continues cycles of oppression masked by the facade of multiculturalism and "inclusion." Why were there so many white people in the room?  What dynamic does that form and how we can we aware of and responsive to that?"

Dance Exchange breaks boundaries between stage and audience, theater and community, movement and language, tradition and the unexplored. Founded in 1976 by Liz Lerman and now under the artistic direction of Cassie Meador, Dance Exchange stretches the range of contemporary dance through explosive dancing, personal stories, humor, and a company of performers whose ages span six decades. The work consists of concerts, interactive performances, community residencies, and professional training in community-based dance. Dance Exchange employs a collaborative approach to dance making and administration. Recent and current projects include explorations of coal mining, genetic research, human rights, particle physics, ecology, land use, and rest in a hyper-driven society. For more information, visit danceexchange.org.

On Friday, Georgetown University's Department of Performance Arts hosted a one-day symposium entitled, Playing with the Past, (W)righting the Future, which explored how black playwrights and artists remember the past to imagine the future. What came out of this was a discussion about how theatre artists work to negotiate the trauma of the past in order to create art and spaces of healing for themselves, other artists and audiences. What follows are my thoughts and reflections. If you were there, it would be wonderful to hear from you as well. 

At 1:00pm, Dr. Maya E. Roth, Associate Professor and Chair of the Department of Performing Arts Director, opened the symposium with a warm and appreciative welcome to the theatre artists, scholars, and students eagerly assembled. 

Patterson asked the panelists how the past impacted the work that they do as scholars, playwrights, and professors. Here are some thoughts that resonated with me:

• Because we have not healed the trauma around slavery, Blacks exist in a place of shame, which forces Whites to say "Get over it."
  
• Many of the panelists sited THE COLORED MUSEUM, DUTCHMAN by Leroy Jones/Amiri Baraka, FOR COLORED GIRLS by Ntozake Shange, FUNNYHOUSE OF A NEGRO by Adrienne Kennedy as being pivotal plays.
  
• The history of slavery has never been healed in this country and so the trauma has never been healed.
  
• Theatre offers an opportunity both to unify the Black identity, but also demonstrate the complexities of what it means to be Black.
  
• Theatre also allows us to push against what we think we know about slavery and what it means to be Black in America.
  
• Artists, who negotiate the past, are putting themselves on the line to help audiences heal.
  
• Artists can use theatre to explore, define and position themselves historically and now.
  
• There was a reminder of the danger of a single narrative and that storytellers hold a great deal of power. In the wrong hands the story of a people can be misinterpreted and maligned.
  
• In order to get to the place of healing, we have to get honest, ugly, deep, and real about the issues of race in this country.

Patterson then asked how does your work deal with the traumatic past without holding on to the past. Here are some of the thoughts they shared:

• One panelists said that he doesn't write stories that don't have hope in them.
• Another said that we need to wade through the bile in order to find healing.
• Then a panelist noticed that many plays offer a ritual for the characters to work through the pain, which the allows the audience to process the pain as well.
• This led a panelist to confess that she doesn't quite know how to negotiate the struggle and pain that the character must endure to go through their journey with the struggle and pain that the audience must experience.
• Finally, a panelist shared that when working with history and issues of race, she works to contextualize the trauma and find rituals of healing in the performance, even if the playwright doesn't include it in the work.

The final thoughts of the discussion centered around four major points:

• The false and dangerous construct of a "post racial" society. 
  
• The death our theatre institutions and dwindling audiences of color.
• The need to build new models to nurture, support, and sustain artists of color.
• That artists need to take their rightful place as leaders of socials change in their communities.

After a break, we enjoyed performances of scenes from from Lydia Diamond's STICK FLY, Robert O'Hara's BOOTY CANDY, and Dominique Morisseau's DETROIT 67, and readings from Evie Schokley's THE NEW BLACK. 

Then, I moderated a discussion with the directors of each excerpt: Isaiah Wooden, Khalid Long, Jocelyn Prince, and Jennifer L. Nelson. What stood out to me in this conversation were the ways in which the directors worked to create safe spaces for actors to interrogate the traumatic experiences in the work and deliver dynamic performances. Each had their own way of providing a concrete terrain for actors to explore and offered specific, while not always direct, paths to help negotiate to emotional landscape of the characters and world of the play. With theatre, they wanted to find ways to to help contextualize pain and validate the experiences of the audience. Also, many of the panelists want to help show that there is movement through pain and hope on the other side of great struggle.

After this discussion, we took our another break and then launched into the second roundtable discussion. Moderated by Soyica Colbert, the speakers included Isaiah Wooden (Stanford University, Ph.D. Candidate), Meta D. Jones (Howard University, Associate Professor of English), Jennifer Nelson (Director and Adjunct Assistant Professor of Theater, Georgetown University), Robert O'Hara (Playwright and Director), and Evie Shockley (Poet and Associate Professor of English, Rutgers University).

Colbert asked the panelists to speak about how the past impacted their creative work. Here are some of the responses that resonated with me:

• One of the panelists spoke about how we have to look at history in a linear and circular way. What occurred 400 years ago, 15o years ago, 50 years ago, 6 years ago, and yesterday has as great an impact then as it does now.
• Another panelist urged us to remember that geography plays an important impact on history. Where we learn our history is as important as when we learn it. Look at where is our history isn't taught and where our stories are spoken, and consider why not.
  
• That same panelist spoke about how language holds history in it. The term "Negro" contains specific historical relevance and meaning. The term "Negro Obama" careens history and contemporary race relations into a powerful explosion. 
• Another panelist spoke about how he creates art to position himself in history where he has been erased. For instance, her wrote about the gay men during slavery.
  

While many panelists spoke about powerful and important historical events, Jennifer Nelson shared that she was most informed by her personal history. This spoke to me, because as a playwright this is where I go first. Here are some of the questions that she asked us to consider intermingled with some of my own:

• Who are your parents? Where are they from? When and where were they born?
• When and where were you born? What happening there and during that time?
• What streets did you grow up walking, running, and playing on?
• Who were your friends? Whose homes were you invited into? Where were you not welcome?
• How were you taught to relate to things and other people?
• What music did you listen to? What songs did you dance to?
• Who cooked in your household? How was the cooking done (from scratch, frozen, or processed)? 
• What foods were prepared on holidays and on everyday occasions?

Colbert then asked the panelists to consider what type of work they are able to create now that artists of the Black Arts Movement weren't able to create. While brief, owing to time, this was an interesting conversation:

• It was acknowledged that artists today have instant access to information in a way that just wasn't available during the Black Arts Moments.
• Also, that the work that was created during Black Arts Movement was revolutionary for its time and pushed the boundaries of what had previously been created.
• A panelist then called attention to the notion of critical nostalgia of history. How we name a moment in history in order to stabilize and dissect it. However, freezing a moment in time doesn't account for the emotional impact of the event. Nor does it account for the additional information and perspective gained over time. 
• Another panelist acknowledged that Black Artists don't have to live within the construct of the work that they created. They are allowed multiple identities beyond the work that they produce. 
• This reminded me of the ways that people of color carry history on their skin. At which a point, a panelist shared, that the Black body is a political work the minute it enters a space. The way our skin causes social disruption is so complex and reminded of the recent panel discussion that I participated in with Dance Exchange, the details of which I'll share soon.

The final thoughts of the discussion centered around three major points:

• Who are your audiences? Are you creating work for an audience that hasn't arrived yet?
• How can we fight for communities of color and ensure that their histories are being recorded, their experiences are being validated, and their stories are being told?
• Have Black Theatre Artists failed our theatres and other theatre artists of color? Do we take opportunities at large white institutions over our theatres of color? Are we working with white theatre artists over theatre artists of color? 

At this point, it was 6:00pm and the symposium came to a close. We were thanked for our time and contribution by an appreciative and passionate audience. 

As folks made their way to the reception, the conversation continued. Originally, I had planned to stay and take more photographs. However, in the moment, I wanted to go home and sit with everything I had just experienced. It was a powerful, provocative, and urgent experience. Jennifer had the same idea, so we decided to have dinner together and process everything. 

Also, I shared the exciting updates about D.C.'s Women's Voices Festival and couldn't help but feel disappointed that more women playwrights of color weren't represented. I also confessed how difficult it had been since the announcement to explain to friends and colleagues that I had not been approached to take part in the festival in any way. While this certainly doesn't dampen my enthusiasm for this extraordinary event, it's something that I've had to negotiate and consider even more deeply after the symposium.

Once I got home, I was past exhausted, but my mind was reeling. I was left struggling to make sense of the continued and staggering lack of opportunities for theatre artists of color. The following questions kept me awake for some time:

1. If theatre is integral to the human experience, then why aren't there more spaces for people of color? 
   
2. When spaces are made for women, why aren't we considering the intersection of race, class, age, culture, and ability?
   

On Friday, January 24, 2014 from 1:00pm to 6:00pm, Georgetown University's Department of Performance Arts hosts a one-day symposium, Playing with the Past, (W)righting the Future, exploring how black playwrights and artists remember the past in order to imagine the future. 

"In conjunction with the production of Robert O’Hara’s Insurrection Holding History, a symposium, Playing with the Past, (W)righting the Future, will explore how black playwrights and artists remember the past in order to imagine the future." said Professor Soyica Diggs Colbert, who is curating the event.

"This symposium offers the rare and wonderful opportunity to celebrate the extraordinary writing of contemporary Black playwrights" said D.C playwright Jacqueline E. Lawton. "I'm honored to take part as facilitator of the performances. As a dramaturg, I'm interested in how each of these writers explore the intersection of race, class, gender, sexuality, and history in their work. We're fortunate to have this opportunity to engage in such a powerful, rich, and urgent discussion."

The symposium will feature two roundtable discussions. Confirmed speakers include poets, scholars, and playwrights including Lydia Diamond, Dominique Morisseau, Robert O'Hara, among others. 

Additionally, performances of scenes from from Lydia Diamond's STICK FLY, Robert O'Hara's BOOTY CANDY, and Dominique Morisseau's DETROIT 67, as well as readings from Evie Schokley's THE NEW BLACK will be presented. Moderated by D.C. based playwright Jacqueline E. Lawton, this presentation will feature leading professional actors and dramaturgs alongside GU faculty, alumni, and students. 
                        
Event Details:
Friday, January 24, 2014  
Davis Performing Arts Center 
Georgetown University
Led by Professor Soyica Diggs Colbert
Symposium: 1:00pm to 6:00pm 
Reception:  6:00pm to 7:00pm 

1:00-­2:30 Roundtable 1
Moderator:  
Robert Patterson (Director of African American Studies and Assistant Professor of English, Georgetown University)
     
Speakers: 
Faedra Carpenter (Assistant Professor of Theater, University of Maryland), Lydia Diamond (Playwright), Monica White Ndounou (Assistant Professor of Theater and Film History and Director, Tufts University), Dominique Morisseau (Writer and Actress), and Daniel Beaty (Actor, Singer, and Writer)

2:45-­4:15 Scene Reading
Moderator: 
Jacqueline E. Lawton (Playwright, Dramaturg, Teaching Artist and Theatre Blogger)

Participants and Play Selections:
STICK FLY by Lydia Diamond
Director: Jennifer Nelson
Actors: Obehi Janice, Madeleine Kelley, Aloysia Jean, David Emerson Toney, Robert Barry Fleming and KenYatta Rogers

THE NEW BLACK by Evie Schokley
Director: Jocelyn Prince
Readers: Marlene Cox, Michael Anthony Williams, Natalie Graves Tucker, and Joy Jones

DETROIT 67 by Dominique Morisseau 
Director: Khalid Long
Actors: Walter Kelly, Molly Roach, Crashonda Edwards, and Kelly Armstrong

BOOTY CANDY by Robert O'Hara
Director: Isaiah Wooden
Actors: Paul Notice, Obehi Janice, Deidra Starnes, Frank Britton, and Brendan Quinn

4:30-­6:00 Roundtable 2
Moderator:  
Soyica Colbert (Georgetown University Theater & Performance Studies Program and African American Studies Program Associate Professor)

Speakers: 
Isaiah Wooden (Stanford University, Ph.D. Candidate), Meta D. Jones (Howard University, Associate Professor of English), Jennifer Nelson (Director and Adjunct Assistant Professor of Theater, Georgetown University), Robert O'Hara (Playwright and Director), and Evie Shockley (Poet and Associate Professor of English, Rutgers University)

6:00-­7:00 Reception

All events are free and take place in Georgetown University's Davis Performing Arts Center. 

Playing with the Past, (W)righting the Future is offered as part of the Georgetown University/Arena Stage/Ammerman Family Partnership, in conjunction with the April 4-12 GU Theater & Performance Studies Program production of Robert O'Hara's Insurrection: Holding History directed by Guest Artist Isaiah Matthew Wooden (COL '04) at the Davis Performing Arts Center.

On Saturday, January 18th at 5:00pm, Everyman Theatre will host a panel discussion on How Women's Voices Changed Our Culture in conjunction with the production of Crimes of the Heart.  Hosted by radio personality Marc Steiner, panelists will include: Teresa Eyring (Executive Director, Theatre Communications Group), Jacqueline Lawton (Playwright and Dramaturg) and Jackson Bryer (Professor of American Theatre, University of Maryland). Click here to listen to the podcast.

"The World of the Play is a new panel discussion series at Everyman Theatre. With the program we aim to promote cultural dialogue within the community, providing access to conversations with experts, professionals, and academics, relating to the themes and broader relevance of a given Everyman production. Everyman is beyond excited to welcome the highly distinguished panel of guests for the discussion inspired by Beth Henley's Crimes of the Heart. We live in a time that has been dubbed, ‘The Age of the Playwright’, examining the presence of the American female voice in this declaration is as pertinent as ever. We hope to provide a platform on which panelists and participants can interrogate the intricate dynamics between gender, art and culture." said Everyman Theatre Education Director Nora Stillman Burke

Crimes of the Heart debuted in December, 1980 and became a swift success for playwright Beth Henley. The Pulitzer Prize-winner provided great leading roles for many great actresses. However, over 30 years later, plays written by women are still produced far less than plays written by men. To this day, less than 15 women have won the Pulitzer Prize for Drama. In this discussion we will use the legacy of Beth Henley's Crimes of the Heart to discuss the role of women play in theatre today. Contemporary playwright Jacqueline E. Lawton will provide living expertise as a current playwright. And Jackson Bryer will provide historical perspective as a professor of American Theatre at the University of Maryland.

"I’m excited to participate on this panel, in my hometown of Baltimore where my love of theatre began," shared Eyring. "I am also passionate about the topic. I’ve been fortunate to be given extraordinary opportunities in the American theatre field, including in my current position as the first woman to head the 52 year old Theatre Communications Group. Many of the most significant artists and producers working in theatre today are women, and I am honored to be a part of an important conversation about opportunities and issues for women in the field.”

"I first read Beth Henley's Crimes of the Heart when I was an undergrad and I've held a deep respect for it ever since." said Lawton. "I admire not only how Henley addresses the role and expectations of women in society, but also how she allows the sisters to have an awareness and access to her sexuality. Additionally, I appreciate the respectful way that race relations and depression are addressed in this play. I'm excited to take part in this panel and to have the opportunity to explore these issues in depth."

Click here to listen to the podcast. 

Everyman Theatre is an intimate Equity theatre with a resident company of artists from the Baltimore/Washington area, dedicated to producing quality plays that are accessible and affordable to everyone. Everyman Theatre is a professional Equity theatre company celebrating the actor, with the resident company of artists from the Baltimore/DC area.  Founded in 1990 by Vincent Lancisi, the theatre is dedicated to engaging the audience through a shared experience between actor and audience seeking connection and emotional truth in performance.

I started my day in conversation with Sarah Bellamy (a true blessing in its own right) about Penumbra Theatre Company and being able to live in a time where we can directly name the work we're doing around advocacy, social change, and eliminating racism in the theater. I am also sitting with the mourning and celebration of Nelson Mandela's life, work and legacy. He is a living testament to a time, space and energy when the fight for freedom came at a profound cost, but he lived long enough to see powerful change as a result of his efforts. Many of our own civil rights leaders and freedom fighters were not granted that grace. Of course, there is more work to do in many areas including theatre. 

My conversation with Sarah also allowed me to engage more deeply with a series of personal losses that have happened over the past year or so ... which resulted in this morning meditation...

Growing up in Tennessee Colony was difficult. Racism, prejudice and attitudes toward poverty have done much to damage my self-esteem, optimism, sense of wonder and enthusiasm for life. Daily, I am reminded of the work needed to nurture my spirit. I don't always win, but having dear friends and a supportive family is a salvation.

Over the course of the last year or so, I have lost three people who have loved me for most of my life. These people were my god parents, Debbie and James, both to cancer, and a dear family friend, Alan, who we lost on Wednesday to a heart attack. 

All three were friends of my father and mother. I loved speaking on the phone to Debbie and James when I was little. They lived in upstate New York and only visited a couple of times to my recollection. So, it was special to know that someone, who lived so far away, cared about me and wanted to talk to me. I was penpals with their daughter for a long time. Also, I have many treasured childhood memories in the home of Alan and his wife Mary. Playing on their living room floor, going on fishing trips, eating and laughing together, and watching them in friendship with my parents.

I remember asking my father once, "Why do they love us and want to spend so much time with us? Why do they love me?" They weren't family and so I didn't understand. Also, I had never met anyone on my mother's side of the family and so learned early that bloodlines don't automatically assume love. He explained, "They love you because you're you and you bring them happiness." 

To be loved by someone outside of your bloodline for simply being you and perhaps for the joy you bring to their lives is a wondrous experience. To lose that love is equally challenging. 

​All of which led me back to Mandela Nelson, a man who was loved and admired by so many. I am one of those people. I was inspired by his fight for freedom and humbled by his commitment to peace and reconciliation. His spirit drives the work that I do around Diversity and Inclusion in the American Theatre. It's hard to contextualize all that I'm experiencing right now, but I want to thank Madiba for his life's work. I want to thank those who believed in me, even when I didn't believe in myself. I want to move forward in service. Thank you for all who give me the opportunity to do so.

The thing about core values is that once you establish them, they will be tested. Constantly and at varying degrees of intensity. You must continually nurture, finesse, and engage them. In doing so, you will either re-avow your allegiance or release them. Quite frankly, it seems that the more you honor and live by them ... the more you firmly hold on to them, the greater the test will be. As great as holding on for dear life to a twig in the midst of a tempest. You dare not let go, for you must protect yourself and the twig. You're in it together. Such a moment happened to me last night:

It was just past midnight. I was lying down in bed. My upstairs neighbor was either watching porn or playing videos games. There were odd and random sounds and bad music playing. Really, it could have been either. 

Despite efforts to the contrary, I was wide awake. I turned to my side and placed a pillow over my head. This strategy has never worked to drown out sound, but the effort--its dramatic release of frustration--seems worthy of repetition. I saw a blue light flashing on my phone indicating a message. I'm waiting to hear back about several exciting job opportunities, so every message is read with eagerness and enthusiasm. 

I read the email and was struck. I was being asked to consider something that put my personal, professional and artistic integrity on high alert. My heart started racing and leapt into my throat. It was difficult to breathe. My vision blurred and I was thrown into a fit of tears recounting the number of times I'd been asked to whitewash a situation and put conversations about racial equity, cultural awareness, and gender parity aside for the betterment and ease of the room. 

But then I remembered the line that I drew some years ago ... an invisible, but palpable line that stood between who I am (the essence and truth of my honor and dignity, and how I choose to live in the world) and what I am willing to walk away from no matter what the cost. By meditating on that line, I contemplated what it would mean to cross it and the silence I would have to bear if I agreed with the conditions set forth in this email. 

Make no mistake, the cost of walking away from this situation would be great and public, but I would have to walk away. I would neither be able to stand the hypocrisy nor stomach the lies. What's more, I wouldn't be able to advocate for women playwrights and theatre artists of color or continue the work that I'm doing around Diversity and Inclusion in the American Theatre with any credibility. 

That line, which temptation, greed, convenience and power, oft tempt to erase brought me comfort, hope, empowerment and sanity. I renewed my allegiance and slept a good, uninterrupted sleep. As for the rest, we'll see what unfolds.

I'm back from TCG's Fall Forum on Governance, an event that brings together theatre trustees and senior staff from across the nation. This year's theme was “Investing in Vitality: Actions Plans and Honest Dialogue to Strengthen Capitalization and Diversity.” We spent the weekend discussing how a strong business model rooted in diversity and inclusion and based on a long-term financial plan will better serve a theatre’s company's mission, vision and purpose as well as its community. It was a powerful, engaging, informative and emotionally/politically charged convening that focused on intersection of diversity, inclusion, artistic freedom and financial health.  I’ll be capturing my notes and reflections on TCG Circle’s Diversity and Inclusion Salon. 

By Sunday evening when I arrived at Penn Station, I was exhilarated, but exhausted. I was also in pain from having sustained an accidental self-inflicted hot water second-degree burn on my thumb. Don't worry, I’ll spare you the details and photo!

The train was 45 minutes late and overcrowded. Couples and families were split apart and strangers were seated side-by-side. Most folks plugged into electronic devices right away. All around me, people were listening to music, watching movies, working on spreadsheets, writing reports and sending emails. I thought about working, but couldn’t summon the focus or strength. Instead, I rested and thought about the uncertainty and exciting possibilities that lay ahead. Doing so, allowed me to overhear a touching and unexpected conversation between the two men seated in front of me. One was older, in his late 30s, the father of a 7 year old girl. The other one was a junior in college, in his early 20s. 

The conversation began in Trenton, where the Young Man had boarded. My ear picked up their conversation when the Young Man started speaking about the differences between Princeton and College Park as college towns. The Young Man was from a small town in the Midwest and then had transferred from UMD to Princeton in August. He was still trying to get used to everything. After spending most of my life in a farming/cattle ranch community, before attending undergrad and grad school in Austin, TX, I understood what he meant by getting used to everything. Austin is great college town, but it’s also a big music town that hosts the ever-popular SXSW Festival, has a lot of great food and excellent outdoor activities. While worlds apart in many ways, both College Park and Princeton have beautiful scenic campuses, are peopled with brilliant, accomplished and creative minds, and rest in close proximity to the nation’s most exciting, international cities. 

The Older Man suggested that part of the Young Man's trouble was that New Jersey has an identity problem. “Princeton is a great school, one of the best schools, but I would never want to live in Jersey. But because of work, I’ve spent time in a few major cities and the shore. One on one, New Jersey has some nice cities, as beautiful as any city in America. But, for some reason, somewhere along the way, the state got a bad reputation and it stuck. You know, the whole armpit thing” 

The Older Man then recommended that the Young Man take a few weekend trips to New York and mentioned that the last time he was there, he saw Avenue Q. This, as you can imagine, delighted me to no end. Usually, I'm the person on the train that tells strangers to go see theatre in various cities. 

Now, the Young Man had never heard of Avenue Q, so the Older Man explained that it was an irreverent “parody, riff, take” on Sesame Street. “Instead of counting and the ABC’s, we learn that everyone is racist and sexist and that we’re all basically good people who do bad things sometimes and have all kinds of issues. It was the funniest, smartest thing I’d ever seen.”

The Older Man then asked the Young Man if he had ever watched Sesame Street. The Young Man replied, "Of course, I grew up on it."  The Older Man confessed that he hadn't watched it growing up, but does now with his daughter. Then, he started talking about the puppetry of the Lion King and tried to connect with regards to the history of puppetry. He wasn't quite getting right, which made me want to interject and launch into my Intro to Theatre lecture about the history of puppets and the impact of The Lion King on puppetry in the American Theatre, but I didn’t and I'm glad. If I had, it probably would've prevented what became the most amazing unscripted conversation I've ever eavesdropped on in my life. 

​When talk turned to the Lion King, the Young Man got excited, because had seen it with his parents. They talked about how the Broadway production was so different and even more beautiful than the movie. The Older Man shared that he thought Scar was a terrible villain, because he killed his own brother to be king. To this, the Young Man adamantly disagreed. He thought Ursula from the Little Mermaid was "the worst person in the world. Well, not person, but character. She's pure evil. To see that people are weak and lonely, to make promises to help them, to make impossible bargains, knowing they won't be able to ... and then to take their lives. That's just wrong. I hate her so much." He got deeply emotional when he spoke. His voice rose, but also quivered in timber. It made me think he had met his own Ursula at some point in his life. The Older Man agreed and said he would make sure to talk to his daughter about that when they watched it again.

​From there, they launched into the most compelling and detailed conversation about princesses from the following Disney Movies: Aladdin, Snow White, Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mermaid, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty. They spoke passionately and at great length about the trajectory of each woman: what they had wanted, the villains they had to face, the challenges they overcame, and what they learned/how it changed them. In the end, they determined that Belle was the absolute best of all of the Disney princesses, because she was smart, liked to read, was patient and kind to her father, was a little weird, didn't want to do what everyone else wanted to do and she was pretty. 

The Older Man felt good about this, because his daughter loves Belle so much and he's been worried about her only wanting to be pretty. The Young Man felt good about this because he always connected with the Beast. When he was younger, he was angry a lot and didn't always know what to do with his emotions. Also, he wants to fall in love with someone like Belle, a smart, pretty, kinda weird woman, who doesn't want to be like everyone else.

​After that, they started talking about places to visit in D.C., what the Young Man wanted to do with his life and gambling. I stopped listening at that point and wrote down everything I could remember. When I finished, I looked up and saw that the Young Man had gone to sleep and moments later, the train slowed to a stop in Baltimore. The Older Man stood up and gathered his things. He helped an elderly woman get her suitcase down and before departing, he looked back and down at the Young Man. He didn't smile, but his eyes softened. 

It was only then that I felt a twinge of guilt. These two men, who had never before met, were caught in a moment when their worlds had intersected on a deeply personal level. They couldn't have known their conversation was being stolen and recorded in such detail. Everyone around us was plugged in and seemingly oblivious. But I couldn't help, but bear witness. My expectations for where this conversation would go had been so vastly and delightfully overturned. I was so struck by how the world had opened up to this rare, wonderful and unexpected moment of intimacy. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did ...​

JACQUELINE LAWTON: Why did you decide to get into theatre? Was there someone or a particular show that inspired you?
ARALYN HUGHES: As a card carrying feminist, I fell in love with the work of LADIES AGAINST WOMEN a street performance group that used satire to ridicule the anti-feminist backlash of 1980s Reagan-era America, inspiring to me to consider theatre as way of protest and wild, comic improvisation.   I was part of a theatre company in Austin (Big State Productions) who around the same time period created a workshop inspired by the Richard Avedon photographic exhibit, "In the American West" that was meant to showcase a response to these photographs through a presentation of original monologues.   We had planned to present two performances but because of popular demand, the show ended up running for 8 years!  That-- was my real introduction to the theatre.  I then took a hiatus from the theatre for almost twenty years and have only recently returned to it full-time in my mid-60s.  I felt time was running out and even though I was fearful to come back to it at the age of 65, I was also driven to make it happen.  Amparo Garcia-Crow, my director,  has been my mentor and inspiration.  Because she was also an original company member of Big State Productions,  I contacted her  about helping me get my story on stage and the last three years we have presented a series of eight original shows under the umbrella title: "Aralyn's Home Economics presents. . . ."  The shows have been a hybrid of performance art meets storytelling meets sketch comedy resulting in me "painting my life on a canvas" which means I am creating on stage the life I want to live.  A life imitates art experience.

JL: Next, tell me a little bit about your writing process. Do you have any writing rituals? Do you write in the same place or in different places?
AH: No writing ritual just a roomful of boxes, mostly journals, archival videos, photos, artifacts and the backs of napkins which Amparo was brave enough to sort through to begin directing my stories.  Typically  I write in spurts,  notes on my phone or ipad/computer,  mostly I capture ideas about events to remember how I felt, thoughts that tie into whatever "social experiment" Amparo guides me towards so that I become the live subject of "the matter."   She listens very carefully to what distracts or obsesses me and off we go into the heart of the subject.  In the three year-series of shows we just completed, she has finally graduated me into sitting behind a desk ala Spalding Gray to just tell the story!  The idea being to ease into becoming the graceful but loud-mouthed crone.  Because I tell my life story, there is no script until after the performance when I transcribe the various approaches to the story.  The so called script is changing until I go on stage.  Often in performance, the story will evolve and be different.  There is more of an outline and notes on what I want to remember to tell so the story flows but in truth, the story becomes more alive than even I can imagine! 

JL: What inspired you to write XXX? What was the process of developing this piece? 
AH:  Bedicheck Jr. High in Austin, Texas choose me as one of the four most inspiring people in Austin and to honor that, they were painting my face as a mural on the side of the building!  I had no idea how they came upon me, I do not have children, I do not know anybody at that school.  Maybe they saw my "Keeping Austin Weird" art house on HGTV or my pink pig art car and my sidekick (a Vietnamese potbelly pig who used to perform with me around town) on the Discovery Channel or my visual art which hangs at different locations in Austin, but suddenly there I was, my face painted on the side of the building the size of a semi-truck  and it looked like me!  While I was there visiting with the students, I was introduced to their art teacher who put me on her email list and started sending me what 30 year olds are into.  One day she sends me the Rihanna video called S&M.  I opened it and LOVED the visuals of what I saw her doing and I found myself obsessing about her dominant actions and wondered-- what in the world is she doing?  Have I had my head in the sand?  Is this mainstream?  I now know it was a popish stereotype of the BDSM world but I found myself thinking: "If only I was 30 years old!"  I became so obsessed, my director said, why don't you research that for your next show!   I not only researched it, I tried on the role of dominatrix and the  universe of choices and rituals involved. For a 65 year old woman contemplating retirement, it opened up a radical dialogue and practice which  ended up changing my life.  Not because the practice was ultimately a lifestyle choice for me, but the process of becoming a dom ended up giving me the true to life role of a lifetime!  And without knowing how significant it would be to take this practice on with real submissive men in order to yield the monologue XXX,  the development of this story ended up taking me into a childhood sexual abuse incident I experienced at the hands of the Baptist deacon that lived across the street from my family in Elks City Oklahoma.  To uncover this enlightened me and liberated a lifelong (unconscious) oppression in me.

JL: What do you hope audiences will walk away thinking about after experiencing this play?
AH: I am saddened by the violence I see in our world and the lack of clarity and ease that exists with relationships between people.   What I present is a contradiction or at least a question or two that I hope contributes towards creating a less judgmental world, one in which there is more freedom of choice, and ultimately better communication, more peace (inside and out) and tolerance for diversity in the world--meaning, the more education we have about sexuality, oppression, fetish behavior and the desire for connection, the more understanding there can be for that fine line between pleasure and pain and how ultimately, everyone wants to experience their authentic,  true natures, in whatever form that arises.  The desire to no longer oppress those who are different--be it because of gender, lifestyle or personal choice is a life-long hope.  And a cause for which I have spent a lifetime rallying.

ARALYN HUGHES is a storyteller/performer who for years as been called "The First Lady of the Keepin' Austin Weird movement."  She has been a lobbyist at the Texas State Capital for women's issues, having served as Director for the first abortion clinic in Central Texas in the 1970s; she's taught high school Home Economics (and been reprimanded for teaching sex education in the schools) and been a member of various board and commissions in Austin, Texas.  A dedicated feminist, she has been a successful business woman and a company member of Big State Productions and various improv companies in town

AMPARO GARCIA CROW acts, directs, sings and writes plays, songs and screenplays.
She coaches individuals to follow their dreams BY DESIGN, a creative
and spiritual coaching dialogue that enlivens their art and life!  As a playwright her work has premiered Off-Broadway (INTAR, THE WOMEN’S PROJECT), Actor’s Theater of Louisville and been developed at South Coast Repertory.   Her films have premiered at SXSW and the Los Angeles International Latino Festival. She is currently in development with STRIP, a burlesque musical she began in residency with Mabou Mines. And in Austin, she hosts the monthly THE LIVNG ROOM: Storytime for Grown-ups.

UNITED SOLO THEATRE FESTIVAL™ is an annual international festival for solo performances held in New York City. Through a diverse range of one-person shows, we explore and celebrate the uniqueness of the individual. From openly solicited submissions, we stage the most intriguing productions at the highly acclaimed Theatre Row in the heart of the New York City theatre district on 42nd Street. Renowned solo performers as well as new talents have opportunities in many categories (e.g. storytelling, puppetry, dance, multimedia, documentary, musical, improv, stand-up, poetry, magic, drama: tragedy or comedy). The artists also benefit from being presented by United Solo, a company made up of artists and producers with vast experience in solo performance. Submission is open in spring, and selected participants are announced in summer each year.